When I
by neonteddybear
Summary: "When I saw you, I was afraid to meet you... When I met you, I was afraid to kiss you... When I kissed you, I was afraid to love you... Now that I love you, I'm afraid to lose you."


**So I decided to make a story out of this quote that I absolutely love… "When I saw you, I was afraid to meet you... When I met you, I was afraid to kiss you... When I kissed you, I was afraid to love you... Now that I love you, I'm afraid to lose you."**

When I…

**When I saw you, I was afraid to meet you...**

His eyes roam the classroom to the brunette that played with his friend, Logan. Kendall frowned this was _his_ classroom, _his_ kingdom; well he felt like the kindergarten class was a kingdom. It was huge and kids would everywhere on the walls, on the floors, and probably even the ceiling. Yes, this was _his_ kingdom, but something was disrupting _his_ kingdom. It was the new kid, oh how the blond boy couldn't stand him. Being nice and kind to everyone _and_ _expecting _to fit in so easily; it was insane, to the blonde boy, he couldn't help but frown at him.

So when the teacher put them as partners, Kendall will frown and turn away from James. Though James wouldn't notice Kendall's attempts to ignore him, he babbled to himself half the time. "So, Ken doll, can you pass me the crayon."

Kendall snapped, he knew the new kid couldn't pronounce his name right, but he could have at least tried to say it right. But Kendall couldn't talk to him what if he gets a disease or worse what if he dies. Then the new kid will get _his_ kingdom, but…"Ken doll can have the crayon pretty please."

No, he wasn't going to break, "Ken doll,"

No, he wasn't, "Keennn dooollll!"

No-"It's _Kendall_, get it right new kid," Kendall snapped…

"Oh, sorry Ken-," James paused, "-dall." Kendall sighed, it was better than 'Ken doll'; yeah he truly hated the new kid.

**When I met you, I was afraid to kiss you...**

"Come on admit it I look _hot,_" James smirked as he looked himself in the mirror again…

"No, you don't," Kendall chuckled, as he slumped on the bathroom door. James was going on another date… with another girl, and somehow Kendall didn't like it at all. The feeling Kendall will get when he was random chicks kissing his James. Shiver ran down his spine to recall the many incidents he had with James, so close to kissing the beautiful brunette, but not as far as truly kissing him. "So who's this chick you're going on a date with?"

"Well if you must know Ken doll," James chuckled to see Kendall's frown, "It's just another chick I met at the mall."

"Uh huh," Kendall bit his bottom lip as he got the courage to ask the question that he's been pondering for a while now. "Why do you go out with these girls and not actually like them?"

James look up from the mirror, as he turned to Kendall, sort of having a distraught and shock look on his face, as he tried to smile. "Well, see I have to find the one, the perfect one, for me."

"Sure, so you go out with random people?" Kendall recalling James going out with guys before, it was worse than slutty girls…

"Well…" James shifted his weight around as he twiddle with his fingers, "I found the one for me, but you know I can't have them and so I'm looking for someone that can be close to them…" Before Kendall could question James any further, the doorbell rang annoying the hell out of Kendall. "She's here, she's here!" James looked at himself in the mirror one last time, before sprinting off leaving Kendall dumbfounded. Kendall sighed as he decided to see the girl that made James' heart beat faster… Kendall slumped even lower as he gazes at the really hot girl that stood there, captivating James' attention. Kendall frowned that was his job to captivate James… but now he had her…

"Meet Elisabeth," Kendall looked up to notice James speaking to him again, "Elisabeth this is Ken doll."

"Shut up new kid," Kendall played along, which made James start laughing; the girl looked at them bewildered. Kendall glance at Elisabeth once more, he sighed, maybe if he kissed James just once, he would no longer have any feeling for the pretty boy, "J-James can I speak to you in a minute."

"Hmm… sure," James follow the blonde to their bedroom. "What do you-"

Kendall slammed James to the wall, while he captured his lip with his. Ignoring the muffled cry James let out, Kendall was soon was kissing James with much force and passion. But all great things end and well Kendall finally was out of breath he tumbled backwards as he tried to ignoring the loud thumping of his heart, "So hmm…yeah."

"So I'm _that_ hot," James joked as he let a smirk play on his lips.

"Oh, sure," Kendal chuckled as his breath lower.

"Yup, so…." James smirked as he looked at the frazzled blonde, James soon walked out of their bedroom, which brought Kendall much disappointment until… "Sorry, Elisabeth, I found someone way better than you, bye." The slamming of a door ranged through the entire apartment, Kendall's heart started to pump faster as he saw James walking towards him, "So where were we, Ken doll?"

**When I kissed you, I was afraid to love you...**

"Kendall," Was all James could muster as his lover bit down at his neck while placing small butterfly kisses where he bit. Kendall smirked to realize James was withering beneath him so easily. He had James, and he loved it. In dark depths of the blonde's mind, was alarming him that he was falling for the pretty boy. No, Kendall Knight wasn't going to fall in love with James, James will leave him for some one better, hotter, and someone who wasn't as stubborn as him… He wasn't going to fall in love with someone that can hurt him… The thoughts ran through Kendall's mind every moment when he was with James, and somehow Kendall hated, deeply hated to know he had this feeling for James, and knowing that James probably will never feel the same.

So that's when Kendall stopped all together, stopped kissing, stopped feeling James up, he just lay there on James' flawless chest looking at the floor ignoring the worry expression James gave him. Kendall sighed to hear James' heart against his ear. It was beating awfully fast, that raised Kendall's curiosity to no extend, but soon James' heart slowly ease to a normal beating. "Kendall, are you okay?" His voice had a hint of disappointment and apprehension. Kendall just nodded his head avoiding eye contact, as if he looked at James he would break down, and Kendall was not a fatalist.

"Kendall?" The blonde boy ignores his boyfriend's soft voice. "Kendall, d-did I do something wrong?" No, Kendall wasn't going to break like he always did, so that's when Kendall started to get off of James, still looking at the floor ignoring James trying to hold him down, to not leave him. But Kendall tugged away from James, as he stood up. "I need some fresh air," Kendall muttered out.

"No Kendall, talk to me, I'm sorry for whatever I did," James sitting up hoping Kendall would listen to him, but Kendall already start walking to the door. "Please, Kendall don't leave me, I-I l-love y-you." That what made Kendall stopped and what made him tremble. Kendall kept telling himself that James was lying, he couldn't love him. "No, you don't, you can't love me."

"Yes, Kendall I do so much," James whimpered. "Please don't leave me. I'll die if you do, I'll change to the best boyfriend, just stay with me."

"James," Kendall paused savoring the silence as he started once more, "James, you can't love me, have you seen me, I'm a stubborn fool that takes everything for granted, I don't treat you as if you are the best boyfriend in the world, which you are. I don't deserve you, James, you're perfect and so kind, and you all around an amazing and loveable person. I-I love you, James, and don't tell me lies when you say you love me."

"Kendall," James whimpered, "I love you so much Kendall, you're always there for me, you always protect me, and you treat me better than anyone else does, you always put me first. God, Kendall, I wouldn't ever lie to you, _ever_." James was now standing next to Kendall. The blond boy couldn't help but grin at this point as unshed tear fled from his eyes, "Really, Jamey?"

"Really Kenny," James toyed with Kendall's new nickname, "I love you."

"I love you too," Kendall couldn't help but smile at the better nickname James had given him way better than 'Ken doll', yeah he was in love with James.

**Now that I love you, I'm afraid to lose you.**

"Fine, I don't love you does that make you happy, Kendall?" James growled.

"I don't care I never cared for you, I always deeply hated you," Kendall snapped back.

"Well then why are we even together?" James questioned. "It's obvious we don't love each other not even like each other for that matter."

"Fine," Kendall snarled as he heard the slamming of the door, yes it was over, and Kendall was still there, and he was heartbroken.

Kendall hid his face in his pillow, hoping the pillow could soak up all his tears and sadness that had over taken Kendall's body. He knew it was going to happen, and still he allowed his heart break; no love can last forever, not even his love for James

But still he cries as he remembered James shattering his hearts to millions of pieces, but still with those millions of pieces he still loves James. Why would James lie about him loving the blonde? Kendall may never know, or at he wouldn't even want to know. He would at random moments laugh in between his break downs about how he first met James, and how he hated him, and now Kendall was crying because James didn't love him how he loved the new kid…


End file.
